The Jewel of Denial is the 3rd episode of the fifth season and the 90th episode overall.
They say the only way to conquer your fear is to face what you fear the most. You must walk into the belly of the beast and risk the possibility of failure. But try to hide from the fear and you risk it swallowing you whole.
Serena and (fake) Charlie return to Manhattan, but Charlie isn't sure she made the right choice in returning. Nate must decide where to draw his moral lines when it comes to Diana and Chuck makes Dan face his future. Meanwhile, Blair receives the results of her paternity test and is determined not to ruin her fairytale.
Dan receives a phone call from Dorota where she tells him that Blair's doctor has called several times and she's choosing not to deal with it by hiding out in her room and reading Grace Kelly's biography. He asks when Louis is returning, and Dorota says he is coming home that night and Blair had promised to find out who the father is before he returns. Dan promises that when he finishes his errands, he will make sure Blair talks to the doctor. Serena and (fake) Charlie return to the Waldorf penthouse and Charlie isn't sure everyone will be happy to see her back. Serena assures her that everyone on the UES goes off the rails at some point and not to worry about it. She also says that she's sure Lily will not mention anything to Carol. At The Empire, Dan brings Chuck a dog as an attempt to make him feel again. Chuck is against the idea, and demands Dan get rid of him. Dan refuses, saying he has to get to a meeting to stop Inside from being released. He reminds Chuck to walk him and leaves. Nate is also about to leave, and encourages Chuck to keep the dog because since he has a new internship at The Spectator, he won't be around much. Chuck informs him that Diana most likely hired him to please her sexually, not professionally.
At the Waldorf's, Blair is excited to see Serena and decides to let Charlie stay in the guest bedroom. Serena asks where Louis is, and Blair replies that he's away at a charity event but returning that night. Serena also asks if Blair is still planning on attending the Jenny Packham fashion show that night since they were both invited to model, but Blair declines. When she leaves to prepare for her interview, Dorota unsuccessfully tries to make Blair talk to the doctor. Meanwhile, Serena tells Charlie that now that Blair didn't react badly to her return, it's time to talk to Lily. She offers to prime Lily first, and Charlie hesitantly agrees. At the same time, Dan goes to see his old mentor Noah Shapiro. He explains all the reasons his book can't come out and Noah replies that Dan was an even bigger coward than he thought. He recommends that the best way to ensure no attention comes to the book is to let it come out, and that it's more than likely no one will care about his book. His agent, Alessandra Steele arrives and Noah introduces her to Dan. Dan, receiving a text from Dorota that Blair is shopping and not at the doctor's, decides to take Noah's advice and leaves but Noah has other plans.
At the VDW's, Lily is still on house arrest and bored. She receives a call from Carol, wondering where Charlie is. Lily says that while she's spoken to Charlie a few times, she doesn't know where she is but mentions that Serena is home from LA. Carol, having received a copy of Charlie's bounced check for the beach apartment, tells Lily she's going to fly up and Lily is delighted to have the company. Dan catches up with Blair, and brings her to the doctor's himself but not before receiving a Gossip Girl blast saying she knows who wrote Inside.
At The Spectator, Diana tells Nate about her current plans for the paper before asking to hook up right then and there. He replies that he doesn't like an audience, and she fires all of her staff. At the doctor's, Blair receives the results of the paternity test but refuses to look, and promises Dan she'll look at home. At the VDW's Serena is filling Lily in on her summer in LA. Lily asks if she's heard from Charlie, and Serena says that Charlie is fine. At the same time, Charlie arrives and overhears the conversation. Lily replies that Charlie has had some psychiatric problems and it's not up to Serena to decide if she's okay or not and Charlie leaves. Back at the Waldorf's, Blair is blindsided in her interview when the interviewer tells her that Louis said that while he wants a family, it's a long way off since he's not ready to be a father.
Dan goes back to Noah's office and instead finds Alessandra. He asks where Noah is and she says he's busy preparing for the release of his new book. She explains that he submitted it to his editors secretly to get an honest opinion, and hands Dan a tablet possessing Inside's manuscript. She takes a phone call and mentions where Noah is planning to have a meeting that evening. Outside the Waldorf's, Ivy/Charlie calls her ex, Max, and apologizes before saying she's coming back to LA. Serena finds Charlie about to leave. Charlie explains that she overheard Lily and she knows Carol doesn't want her in New York. Serena begs her to stay, saying she'll talk to Lily again and convince her to accept Charlie back but she insists on leaving. Serena asks her to return her Jenny Packham tickets to the show before she leaves town and she agrees. Back at The Spectator, Nate confronts Diana about only hiring him so she can continue to sleep with him. Diana apologizes for making his job feel like a joke, and offers to let him interview a senator at the show that night.
Blair is looking for any and all ways to postpone reading the test results. She reads a GG blast about Chuck's new dog, and debates opening the envelope. On her desk, she spots the Jenny Packham tickets and informs Dorota she's going to the show after all. When Dorota reminds her about her date with Louis that night, Blair threatens to send her to work as a maid on the Upper West Side and then proceeds to tear the test results up and throw them away before reading them. When Charlie arrives at the show to return Serena's tickets, she instead finds a dress she's supposed to model along with a note from Serena telling her to live her dreams. She decides to stay for one last night. At the VDW's, Rufus returns home and excitedly informs Lily that he's been meeting with her lawyer, who was able to convince the judge to grant her an early release. They agree to go to the fashion show, but Lily remembers Carol is getting into town soon. Rufus tells her to just have her meet her at the show, and Lily goes off to get ready. At the Empire, Dan fills Chuck in on how Noah is trying to steal his book. Chuck is confused at what the problem is, since not wanting his name attached to the book is what Dan wanted. Dan decides that it feels wrong for Noah to be lying, and Chuck tells him the two options. To out Noah as a credit stealer, or to let him steal the book and have everything go away. Before he can decide, he gets a text from Dorota informing him that Blair didn't open the results and is at the fashion show.
At the show, policy is that no cell phones be allowed inside. When Blair arrives, she checks in her phone and demands an employee show her where to check in for modeling. The employee, startled by Blair, accidentally turns Charlie's phone in without a name attached to it. Diana and Nate arrive at the party, and they spot the senator Nate is supposed to interview. She reminds him it's a lifestyle piece and encourages him to ask about his and his wife's favorite restaurants, vacations, and to definitely ask about their recent trip to Mykonos. Backstage, Blair spots Charlie. She asks what she's doing there, and Charlie admits she doesn't know but feels like Alice. She also tells Blair that she'll be leaving right after the fashion show and going back to LA since Carol doesn't want her in New York. Blair advises her that she might have a few things to hold over her mother's head, and Charlie realizes she does. When she goes to meet her escort, Blair tells Charlie that it's her life and to do what she wants. While interviewing the senator, Nate accidentally reveals his affair to his wife. She announce she's divorcing him, and the angry senator tells Nate he thought he was the nice one in his family. Nate, suddenly seeing Diana recording the interview, realizes she set him up to reveal the affair. Lily and Rufus arrive at the party, although Lily can't help but notice the whispers and stares behind her back. Rufus assures her that she served her time and has earned the right to move on to a new chapter. The show begins, and Charlie is soon face to face with Rufus and Lily. She begs them not to tell Carol she's there, and Lily tells her that she can tell her herself as Carol emerges from the crowd. When Blair walks, Dan takes over as her escort to confront her about the test. He brings out the ripped up results, which Dorota found and taped back together, and the two argue. The argument only ends when Blair shoves him into a waiter, causing a scene. Nate confronts Diana, and she explains that she wants to launch a tabloid, not a basic newspaper. He accidentally gives her the idea to take everyone's phones to get gossip from, and she tells him to take a risk. He skeptically tells her to meet her at the office in twenty minutes, before piling the phones to take, however, he leaves behind his friend's phones. Backstage, Carol confronts Ivy/Charlie about coming back. Charlie says in all honesty, it's her decision because she can always go to the police and tell them how Carol paid her to pretend to be Charlie to get access to her trust fund. She informs Carol that she came from nothing and that the Van Der Woodsen/Rhodes family have been nicer to her than her real family ever was. She threatens that if Carol tries to take her down, she's taking her with her. Outside, Dan and Blair argue once again over Blair opening the results. He admits that he's been using her problems to avoid dealing with his own, and she admits that she turned to Dan because she knew he would help her no matter what. He explains that when Georgina showed up pregnant (in Last Tango, Then Paris), the last thing he wanted to be was a father but when Milo was born, he fell in love with him. Blair asks if she opens the results, if he'll be able to deal with his problems, and he says if she can do it so can he. He leaves her alone to open the envelope, and she finally does.
After opening the envelope, Blair goes to see Chuck. She tells him she's pregnant, that it's Louis' baby, and that she didn't want him to find out and wonder if it was his. She then meets his dog Monkey, and he tells her that instead of getting rid of him, he decided to get him fixed since that's the responsible thing to do. She leaves, but tells Chuck that a part of her really wanted it to be his baby. Meanwhile, Dan goes to confront Noah at his restaurant meeting. When he arrives, Noah introduces him to his friends and explains that he was the inspiration behind the character Dylan Hunter. Dan announces that Noah didn't write the book, he did. Noah and his friend applaud, and Noah reveals that he set Dan up on purpose to admit he was the author. He invites Dan to join, saying they have a lot to talk about. At the VDW's, Rufus, Lily, Carol, and Charlie toast to new beginnings. They invite Charlie to stay in Serena's old room, and she gratefully accepts. Carol says she's going to bed, and Charlie pulls her aside and tells her that she's going to make sure CeCe reinstates her access to the trust. Carol replies that she's on her own now and good luck. When Dan returns to the loft, a delivery man brings an early release copy of Inside, which has a sticker on the front saying his name and a note from Alessandra telling him to get ready for the ride of his life. At the Waldorf's, Blair tells Louis she's pregnant. He excitedly confesses he can't wait to be a father, and that he only said he wasn't ready to make sure she wasn't on constant baby watch. They get ready to go out, and Blair hides the results of the paternity test in her desk before Louis can see them. Upon hearing the news of Blair's pregnancy, Chuck has begun to feel again and cuddles with Monkey while silently crying.
Back at the VDW's, Serena tells Charlie how excited she is that she's staying after all. While talking, Charlie is panicking trying to find her phone. Serena reassures her that they'll call in the morning to see if the fashion show people still have it. At The Spectator, Nate finds her phone without a tag on it. Diana takes it, and sees an incoming text from Ivy's ex Max. She asks Nate if he knows someone named Ivy.
- Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
- Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
- Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey
- Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald
- Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass
- Kaylee DeFer as Ivy Dickens/Charlie Rhodes
- Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen
- Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey
Recurring Cast/Guest Stars
- Zuzanna Szadkowski as Dorota Kishlovsky
- Hugo Becker as Louis Grimaldi
- Elizabeth Hurley as Diana Payne
- Sheila Kelley as Carol Rhodes
- Marina Squerciati as Alessandra Steele
- David Patrick Kelly as Noah Shapiro
- Peter James Elias as Congressman McCreedy
- Elizabeth Inghram as Nola McCreedy
- Simon Doonan as Himself
- Jonathan Karp as Himself
- Jamie Johnson as Himself
- Hello by Martin Solveig & Dragonette
- Movin' Away by My Morning Jacket
- Pigeons by The Hundred in the Hands
- Plan My Way by Maya Von Doll
- #1 (RAC Remix) by Madison
- Your Crying Game by Fans of Jimmy Century
Nate (referring to Monkey): Whoa, who's this little guy?
Dan: He's Chuck's new-
Chuck: Drunken mistake. Never sleep with a girl from PETA.
Dorota: I must say, best part of pregnancy is knowing who father is.
Chuck: I may not be able to feel anything, but at least I'm not paralyzed.
Carol: It's time for you to go back to your real life, the way you should have months ago.
Ivy: Actually... I think I want to stay.
Carol: It's not up to you, Ivy.
Ivy: Yeah, it kind of is. What are you going to do about it? Call the police? I'd be happy to tell them the whole story: about how you hired a struggling actress to pretend to be your daughter so that she could gain access to your real daughter's trust fund just so you could take the money for yourself. I think the authorities would have a problem with that. And your family would too.
Carol: You wouldn't.
Ivy: I came from nothing. Everything here sparkles. And that family that you can't stand has been kinder to me than my own family ever was. I'm not walking away from that. And if you try to take me down, Carol, you're coming with me.
Blair: If I know anything about Chuck Bass, it's that fatherhood is not part of the lifestyle.
Chuck: You must have been very relieved when you found out you weren't carrying my offspring. That certainly would have derailed your fairytale.
Blair: This fairytale is complicated.
Chuck: Blair, meet my dog, Monkey.
Blair: I saw Gossip Girl, I thought you got rid of him.
Chuck: I sent him to get fixed, I thought it was the responsible thing to do.
Blair: I should go... Louis' waiting for me. There's a part of me that really wanted it to be yours.
Serena (to Charlie): I don't think I realized until I saw you in LA how much I needed family around. Or how much you needed me to help you shop.
Gossip Girl: Get ready to find out what you're made of. Because to survive on the Upper East Side, you better be fearless.
- The episode title is based off the movie The Jewel of the Nile.
- Grace Kelly - At the beginning of the episode, Blair is reading her biography.
- Hello Magazine - Blair is being interviewed by the magazine.
- Field of Dreams - Dan watched the movie with Chuck as an attempt to make him feel again.
- PETA - Chuck mentions the organization as a way to explain Monkey's presence.
- Jenny Packham - Both Blair and Serena were invited to model at her fashion show.
- Simon & Schuster/Jonathan Karp - The group that is publishing Dan's book.
- Angry Birds - Lily mentions that since being on house arrest, all she seems to do is play the game and grill the maid for gossip.
- Muppets - Blair compares Dan's hair to a muppet.
- Club A Steakhouse - Where Noah's dinner meeting is.
- Andre Leon Talley - Diana mentions it was his concerns that almost got the fashion show canceled.
- Crime and Punishment - Lily is seen reading the book.
- Rockefeller/Whitney Families - Blair tells the fashion show staff that if any members of those families are modeling, to pair them with Charlie.
- Alice in Wonderland - Charlie says she feels like Alice at the glitzy fashion show.
- Simon Doonan/ Chris Benz - Blair and Charlie's escorts at the fashion show.
- Boulud Sud/Brushstroke - Restaurants the senator Nate is interviewing and his wife like.