Raiders of the Lost Art is the 22nd episode of the fifth season and 109th episode overall.
They say in life there's two sides to every story. But on the Upper East, we always have three. There's his, hers... but the most important is always mine.
Chuck, Nate, Blair, Serena and Lola team up to uncover what they think is an explosive secret between Diana and Jack. Meanwhile, Dan is offered a prestigious fellowship in Rome for the summer.
The episode begins with Dorota bringing Serena kreplach to taste. Serena asks if she can set it down so she can finish typing, and Dorota says that all she does is type now. Serena replies that after everything that went down with her family, writing is her new outlet and it keeps her sane. Meanwhile at her hotel, Diana is on the phone with Jack, assuring him their operation will go as planned since everyone is convinced she's Chuck's mother. Jack asks what time Diana's guests are arriving, and she goes to find her planner to check. When she can't find it, she tells Jack she'll call him back. She then calls Nate to accuse him of stealing her planner. He insists he has no idea where her planner is, and maybe she left it at the office or something. She says that she believes him for now, but if she can't find it, she's coming to him. At The Empire, Chuck is looking over Diana's planner to see if he can find anything of interest, namely anything linking her to Jack. Chuck admits the whole book is in code and he's had no luck in cracking it, and that he's also had no luck tracking down Jack. Nate remarks that it would take a special level of crazy to hide secrets like that, and Chuck replies that he's going out for a bit. Lola then arrives and asks if they're having luck. Nate says that Serena must have changed the password and username to the site since she got it, and Lola says she's glad he finally believes her. He also apologizes for ever doubting her.
At the Waldorf's, Dan is getting ready to leave for the loft to meet Alessandra, who wants to read the first chapter of his new book. He admits that it's not completely finished since he's suffering from writer's block, and Blair tells him about her plans for the day, including going to the Met. They agree to meet for lunch. At The Empire, Nate and Lola discuss next steps on how to deal with Serena being Gossip Girl. Lola suggests the real Gossip Girl might help them, and Nate says right now isn't the opportune time to open that up, since they're so busy with Bass family drama. Lola says that Serena and Diana are allies and it can be a two birds one stone situation. Nate agrees to text the real Gossip Girl and ask for help, and Lola says she'll go visit Serena to see if she'll be willing to help with Diana. At the loft, Dana arrives to find Alessandra already inside. She demands the manuscript, but Dan says it's still coming along. She says she knows he's blocked and she has a solution, and if he meets her friend Lucia for lunch, he'll find out what. He says he already has plans with Blair, but Alessandra promises he'll want to cancel them. Elsewhere outside, Blair is on her way to the museum when she's stopped by Chuck. He's in the middle of asking her to help him crack the code in the planner when she gets a text from Dan, saying he has to cancel lunch. She then agrees to help him. At the Waldorf's, Lola arrives to see Serena, who wants to know why Lola is there after she was told to stay away. Lola replies that she doesn't understand why Serena hates her when all she's done is protect her secret and goes to leave, when Serena says that if it's important, she does want to hear. Lola announces she can't trust Diana because she's working with the real Gossip Girl to take her down. Serena answers that that isn't surprising, since she has a history with Gossip Girl and is probably trying to protect herself. Lola says it might help if she can find Diana's secret first. Serena inquires how and Lola explains Nate stole Diana's planner but it's in code, and if Serena can break the code, she has her secret. Serena replies that she once saw Diana transcribe her planner using a smaller notebook, and Lola realizes that's probably the key. She asks Serena to get it, and Serena agrees to go to Diana's office to find it, so long as Lola helps her figure the secret out. Lola leaves, and Serena heads back to her computer and messages Diana that Nate indeed has her book. Diana replies that Serena knows what the next step is.
Later, Serena calls Lola from Diana's office and insists she can't find it anywhere. Lola encourages her to keep looking since Nate didn't see it at the hotel. Serena says she'll call when she leaves and hangs up. Once she does, Diana, who is sitting across from her, says that creating the key notebook was genius. Serena tells her not to worry since the book is useless without the code, but Diana says she won't feel completely better until she gets it back. She proposes that if Serena can get her book back, she'll give her the real Gossip Girl's cell phone number. Diana suggests that she use the number to track her down, and then blackmail her into keeping the site. Serena asks how she's sure if it's the real number, and Diana says she'll find out when she gets the book back. Meanwhile at the Waldorf's, Blair comes downstairs dressed like Diana. She takes the book from Chuck and begins eliminating classic common codes. She grabs her cypher slide, and explains she wrote her diary in code at one point when she suspected Eleanor was reading them. Blair realizes that on the first Saturday of every month, there's an appointment made up of fourteen or fifteen letters and if they crack those, everything else can be translated. She points out that this month's appointment is that night. Chuck chimes in that Nate was dating Diana during some of the months and maybe he remembers something. They go off to find him. Meanwhile, Dan meets Alessandra's friend Lucia for lunch. She invites him to attend The Italian Arts and Letters Institute in Rome, and live there for the whole summer. Dan is stunned, but says he's honored and that he really needs it. He continues that he needs to talk to Blair about it, and Lucia says that she's leaving the next day and will need his answer that night. He promises to give her the answer by that night. At The Empire, Nate and Lola are looking over information Andrew Tyler found. Serena arrives and apologizes for not having better luck on her search. She suggests that since she's the one who originally saw the key, maybe if she saw the planner she would have luck cracking it. Nate says it's too bad Chuck has it, but Chuck and Blair then walk in. Chuck announces they might have a lead on the code thanks to Blair. Dan then calls Blair, and Serena sees the planner. On the phone, Dan tells Blair about his invitation. He says he would be gone all summer, but Blair says he could never stand in the way of the opportunity. He asks where she is, and she answers that she is at The Empire with Chuck, but Nate, Serena, and Lola are also there. She reminds him of their conversation from earlier, how they don't hold each other back, and hangs up. Meanwhile, Nate can't remember anything unusual on those days and that he and Diana never really spent time together outside the office. Serena says that's her cue to leave and heads for the elevator, promising to keep looking for the key. Blair goes to get the book, and realizes it's gone. Lola pieces together Serena stole it and runs to stop her, which she does.
At the loft, Dan is telling Rufus how Blair wants him to go to Rome but she was too happy for him, and she wants him to leave so she can be with Chuck. Rufus says Blair loves him, but Dan confesses they haven't exchanged those words yet. Rufus encourages him to talk to her, and Dan goes to see her. Back at The Empire, Serena says that getting Gossip Girl's phone number is more important than Nate kicking Diana out of The Spectator. Chuck asks if it's more important than him finding his real father, since Diana lied about being his mother and he thinks it's Jack. Serena apologizes and tells them she's on their side. Blair sends Dorota to pretend to be Diana's masseuse to massage the code out of her, while everyone listens him via bluetooth. Dorota asks why she missed her last appointment, and Diana confusedly replies that she couldn't have since she didn't book a session. She asks what day it was, and Dorota replies that it was the first Saturday of the prior month. Diana says she was in Europe that day, and Dorota digs her elbow into Diana until she admits she was in Portugal. Blair asks everyone what they know about Portugal, and Nate asks Chuck about a tutor he had. Chuck remembers she was from Lisbon, and Blair asks if all the combinations could be different international phone numbers. She reads that the first letters are KLL and Nate says that's 555 on the keypad. Blair says if she used a numeric key, the number would be 051, then 351. Chuck says that's the country code for Portugal, and Serena is stunned Blair cracked it. Blair then tells Dorota they got what they need and she can go. Dorota tells Diana she's heading to get a complimentary body wrap for her and quickly leaves. Blair then figures out the rest of the number and Chuck calls, inquiring about the event that night. The woman who answers asks how many, and Nate and Blair volunteer to go. Chuck says three people, and the woman asks if he wants a car, but he replies the address will be fine. She says it's at the Vardin House in Briarcliff Manor and she'll see them at nine. Chuck says hopefully Jack will be and Nate is hopeful someone can tell them who Diana really is. He goes to get Arthur to bring the car around, and texts Gossip Girl that he'll meet them there. Serena then asks if she can have the book to find Gossip Girl, and Chuck says he made a copy already so Blair gives it to her. Outside, Dan is walking up when he gets a text from Blair telling him not to wait up for her. He then sees her get into Chuck's limo, hails a cab, and follows them. Also outside, Serena gives Diana her planner back. She says she just asked for it back and then they handed it over. Diana hands her Gossip Girl's number and leaves, late for a meeting. Before Serena has a chance to look at it, Lola grabs it and says they can follow the number in her catering van. Serena agrees to let her help. Lola then secretly texts Nate that they're on their way.
Blair, Chuck, and Nate arrive at the house and discover a brothel inside. Chuck realizes it was the same one Bart belonged to, and that he's sure Jack is there. Nate wonders what it all has to do with Diana, and Chuck reminds him that when he finds out, he can have Diana out to The Spectator right away. A girl approaches Chuck and offers to be his "friend" but Blair become slightly jealous and says he already has a friend. She offers to show them the bedrooms, and Chuck agrees immediately to be able to look around. Nate sees Lola and Serena, both dressed as waitresses. Lola explains that the guy at the door asked if they were "India's girls" so they said yes, and were told to change. Serena adds that they GPS'd Gossip Girl and it led them there, and Nate asks who India is. Lola says that if they find India, they find how Diana fits in. Serena wonders if this is how Gossip Girl and Diana know each other, and Nate then sees Dian arrive. He suggests he and Lola follow Diana while Serena tracks down Gossip Girl. Upstairs, Chuck suggests to the girl leading them that they could extend their search beyond bedrooms. She replies that they may not have time to see the whole house, but Blair says they should see every room, even the occupied ones. Outside, Dan is waiting in a taxi watching the house. He gets a call from Rufus, wondering if he and Blair talked yet. He asks where he is, and Dan confesses he saw Blair and Chuck leave together in his limo and he followed them. Rufus says he's worried about them and he needs to trust Blair, and he's sure she'll tell him about it later. Inside, Nate lies to a security guard that he thinks he was drugged and wants to talk to India. The guard says India isn't seeing visitors. Elsewhere, Diana is watching Nate and Lola on a security tape and telling someone over the phone that she can handle them crashing, so long as everything else goes off fine. She notices Chuck and Blair and tells the person she'll call them back. She calls security. Downstairs, Serena finds Blair and tells her she's looking for Gossip Girl. She asks if they're having any luck finding Jack, and Blair says no. She instructs Chuck and Josephine to head off without her while she goes off to look, and promises she won't let Diana see them. Serena tries to call Gossip Girl and hears a phone ringing. She tries to follow the sound when security begins to escort everyone out, saying the cops are on their way. Meanwhile, Nate and Lola sneak upstairs and Chuck opens a door to find Jack inside. Dan and Lola open a door and address Diana by her real name, India. Blair opens a door and is shocked by what she sees inside.
Jack tells Chuck he would love to chat, but he has to go. Chuck says he knows Diana isn't his mother, then tells him to tell the truth for once. He shows Jack the photos, and asks once and for all if Jack is his father. Jack asks if he really wants to know but before Chuck can answer, security escorts him out. Blair then emerges and asks Jack if he told Chuck what he's really hiding here. Jack tells security to give him and Blair alone for a moment. Elsewhere, Diana/India tells Nate and Lola that whatever they think they know, they're wrong. Nate says that unless she leaves The Spectator for good, he'll tell everyone how she runs a high class prostitution ring. Diana says she isn't worried, saying they don't have proof, and she has a video of Nate checking the girls out. Nate says he'll take his chances with the cops when they arrive, but Diana replies that the cops aren't coming and she's the one who ordered everyone out. Serena enters the room, and Diana says she has never been to the house and doesn't know what's going on. Lola fills her in, and explains they need Gossip Girl to break the story of who Diana is. Nate says he already knew but he won't tell anyone ever if Serena helps him out. She says her laptop is with her bag but she can try to send the blast from her phone. But when she tries to log in, she can't. Diana leaves the room and Serena leaves too, to get the computer. In the other room, Blair tells Jack she has no choice but to tell Chuck what she saw. Jack yells that a lot of people will get hurt if what is in the room ever comes out and that everything was supposed to go off perfectly, and she better hope it still does. Downstairs, Serena tells Nate and Lola that her computer is gone. They reveal that they set her up to help Gossip Girl get her site back, since she needed the computer to take control again since Serena changed the password. Serena becomes angry, and says she is different than the real Gossip Girl since she doesn't hurt people. Nate argues that she isn't and that it doesn't matter anyway, since the real one is back. Serena tries to call the number, but discovers the number has been disconnected. Outside, Blair finds Chuck and he asks why she looks so upset. She asks if they can leave, but he says after their history, she can tell them whatever it is. She replies that once everyone is gone and things quiet down, he needs to go back into the house. Chuck tells her to take his limo back into the city. At the loft, Dan calls Lucia and tells her that he decided not to accept the invitation after all, even though Blair said yes. He explains that he doesn't think his relationship can work from Rome, and apologizes. Back at the house, Diana informs Jack that she wants to renegotiate her payment because silence is expensive, and Jack agrees. At The Empire, Lola asks if Gossip Girl is up yet. Nate says no, but when she is, he's going to tip her off about Diana. Lola tells him Serena said Gossip Girl already knew and won't reveal it because she would rather blackmail Diana than expose her. Nate replies that the only way to expose her is if he runs the story himself, and Lola encourages him to, saying there really isn't a downside.
At the Waldorf's, Serena is eating berries alone when Dorota sees her on her way out. She asks where her computer is, and Serena explains it belonged to someone else and they took it back. Dorota suggests they get her a new one so she can feel in control again, but Serena says she doesn't know if that's possible anymore. Dorota leaves, and Serena gets a blast from Gossip Girl about Blair heading back to Brooklyn. At the loft, Blair enters and finds Dan. He asks how her day of scheming went, and Blair asks if he's upset with her. Dan lies and says he's upset with Lucia because they found someone they wanted more to attend the institute. Blair says she's sorry, and then asks if he wants to go get dinner and she can tell all about her night. On their way out, Dan stops Blair and tells her he loves her. She doesn't say it back, and goes to leave. Back at the manor, Chuck opens a door to Diana inside... talking to a very much alive Bart Bass.
- Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
- Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
- Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey
- Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald
- Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass
- Kaylee DeFer as Ivy Dickens (Credit only, as she does not appear in the episode)
- Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen (Credit only, as she does not appear in the episode)
- Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey
- Desmond Harrington as Jack Bass
- Zuzanna Szadkowski as Dorota Kishlovsky
- Ella Rae Peck as Lola Rhodes
- Elizabeth Hurley as Diana Payne
- Robert John Burke as Bart Bass*
- Caprice Benedetti as Lucia Gallo
- Valentine by The Big Sleep
- Spit You Out by Lissy Trullie
- Alone Or With Friends by Tribe
- Strange Kind of Love by League
Nate (on cracking Diana's code): I think we're going to have to hire a professional. Someone from the military, or maybe a serial killer.
Dan: OGB: Original Gangster Blair.
Blair *in an English accent*: In order to think like Diana Payne, you have to become Diana Payne. Cheers, thanks a lot, you're adorable, Spectator.
Chuck: Regardless if we ever find Jack, I can't tell you how glad I am at this moment that Diana isn't really my mother.
Blair: But unfortunately, the entire clue trail hangs by the flimsiest of threads. Nate's long term memory.
Lola (on Nate's schedule): Gym, gym, bangs trimmed, gym.
Nate: Oh ha ha ha.
Dan (on saying I love you): We're not in high school anymore, it takes time.
Rufus: To feel or to admit?
Blair: What do we know about Portugal?
Serena: They speak Portuguese.
Nate: They play pretty good football.
Chuck: They don't.
Girl (to Chuck): Hi, I'm Josephine. You look like you could use a friend.
Blair *steps forward*: He already has a friend.
Josephine: You look like the type that likes a royal theme.
Blair: Not anymore.
Dan: I love you... you know that, right?
Blair: I do now. Let's go.
- The episode title is based off the movie Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.
- Robert John Burke makes his first appearance as Bart Bass since The Debarted in the third season.
- The "For Sale" sign outside the Vardin House has the same symbol that Chuck woke up with on his arm in Carrnal Knowledge.