I Am Number Nine is the 6th episode of the fifth season and 93rd overall.
They say the road of life is long and winding, so it's important to mark the milestones along the way. From picking your bridesmaids to christening your boss' new desk, landing on your first best seller list, to finally asking for help. But keep your eyes on the road, Upper East Siders, or you could get lost along the way.
The launch of The Spectator causes drama left and right. Blair has her minions compete for spots in her royal wedding by holding a contest, Nate uses Charlie to make Diana jealous, and Dan and Serena clash over his movie deal. Meanwhile, Chuck attends therapy but finds that even the safest of places is not above rule bending.
The episode begins with a diagram of Blair's possible bridesmaids, Nate planning a party for Diana, Dan learning Inside debuted at number nine on the best seller's list, and Chuck at therapy.
Nate asks Diana to go with him as his date to her party later that night. Diana thinks it's a terrible time, since she's officially launching herself into the New York media world and female bosses can't mix business and pleasure without people whispering behind their backs. Nate agrees, but only if they can talk more about it later. Diana says yes but only after Nate and (fake) Charlie deliver new Spectator tablets to VIP guests with information about the party. She has Nate deliver on the west side and Charlie on the east before leaving to meet with an old friend from Los Angeles.
Chuck is in therapy with Dr. Eliza Barnes, and he begins describing a recurring dream. He tells how in the dream he's taking an early morning stroll and sees the most beautiful skyscraper that he has to go inside of. He tries to run to get to it but when he arrives, he wakes up. Dr. Barnes asks what he thinks the dream means; and Chuck mentions his parental issues. She tells Chuck that there's a part of his puzzle he's missing, there is someone he is not talking about.
Blair comes downstairs to have breakfast with Louis at her penthouse. She asks Louis to turn a blind eye while she hangs out with her minions to choose her bridesmaids, and he agrees to look away until Diana's party that night.
Serena is at work when her boss Jane introduces her to Diana. Serena mentions how Nate and Charlie work for the Spectator, and Diana invites her to her party and asks if she's ever been interested in blogging. Serena says no, that unfortunately Gossip Girl does it for her. Diana tells her that that can change, and they should keep talking.
Meanwhile, Blair is meeting with minions Kati Farkas, Penelope Shafai, and Jessica Leitenberg. Charlie shows up before tryouts begin, with a tablet and invitation to Diana's party for Blair. She decides to ask Charlie to tryout too, and she joins. She then sends a text to Nate asking him to pick up and deliver the rest of her tablets.
Louis waits outside Dr. Barnes' office for her, along with a check for what he owes her. He reveals that he is paying her to turn Chuck back into the monster he was to ensure Blair will never fall for him again. She goes to meet with Chuck at his suite at the Empire, under the guise that their last appointment ended too abruptly. He welcomes her and the two begin to talk. She brings up Blair, and asks if Chuck is angry that she is marrying somebody else. He replies that he let Blair go and that's the end of the story. She presses on, saying Blair is the source of his suffering, and that there's no way he can't not be angry. She tells Chuck that he has to accept that he didn't let Blair go, he lost her to someone else. In response, he realizes that as a final gesture, he needs to get rid of the Harry Winston engagement ring he bought for her. He gives the ring to Dr. Barnes and asks her to get rid of it, and she takes it and leaves. In the elevator, she texts Louis that she can't do it anymore.
Dan, Serena, Jane and Natalie, an exec from Warner Bros, meet for Inside's first movie development meeting. Jane and Natalie toss different ides back and forth, from making Dylan Hunter into an orphan to turning it into a musical. Dan is offended, as he wants the film to stay true to the book and be an important independent film. He eventually walks out of the meeting.
At Blair's bridesmaids tryouts, she puts the girls through a series of trials they might face at the wedding. First, she has them hastily dress a mannequin in a wedding dress and attend to every need whether big or small. Next, she has the girls run in heels with champagne and Kati falls and is therein disqualified.
Nate arrives at Keith Gessen's office with a tablet. He is told by an assistant that Keith doesn't need an invitation as he will be attending the party with Diana as her date. A jealous Nate calls Diana and asks why she never told him she was taking a date. She assures him that Keith is just business and Nate needs to trust her, and he replies that he needs to rethink their relationship.
Serena goes to see Dan at Brooklyn and tells him both her and Jane think he should waive his right to write the screenplay. She reasons that he'll be stuck in development hell, because he's too close to the book and won't give the producers what they want, and that now that the iron is hot, he needs to strike with a new best selling book. Dan is hesitant, as if he waives his right, they can do whatever they want without his consent. Serena promises that she can get a good writer to honor his book faithfully, and that she will make sure Jane and no one else ruins the story. Dan agrees. Serena heads back to Jane's office and tells her that she successfully got the book away from Dan. Jane tells her that Aaron Sorkin is ready to take over the writing. She also reveals that she had had Sorkin lined up for a week, and they were just waiting for Serena to convince Dan to release his rights. Serena tells Jane she wishes they had just told Dan upfront and spared the disastrous meeting earlier that day. Jane explains that Dan coming in was the best thing; as they now know that Dylan needs to be shown as a self important teenager who betrays his friends for fame. She then explains that she is planning to make Inside the next social network by Zuckerberging it.
At the Waldorf's, Blair gives the remaining contestants (Charlie, Penelope, and Jessica) their final test: whoever can get Nate to kiss them first at The Spectator party, gets to be her official bridesmaid. Charlie receives a call from Diana, who angrily asks why Nate is delivering her tablets for her and found about Keith. She tells Diana that she is competing to be Blair's bridesmaid and if she wins, she can cover the royal wedding from the inside. Diana tells her that for her sake, she better win.
Serena calls Dan and asks him to come with her to the party later that night, as Jane requested him, and he agrees to come. Charlie goes to the Empire to see Nate and convinces him to take her to the party later that night as his date to make a girl jealous.
Louis surprises Dr. Barnes at the dog park. She tells him once again that she can't destroy a man who is doing everything he can to heal himself. Louis asks about their deal, and she returns the check. Unbeknownst to the two, Chuck is also at the park and overhears their entire conversation. He calls Dr. Barnes and tells her that he thinks he's in trouble and asks her to meet him later that night.
At the party, Blair and Louis arrive and he is surprised that her game is still going on but she assures him it will be okay. Penelope and Jessica look around for Nate before seeing him with Charlie and they announce game on. Chuck introduces himself to Diana and greets Louis when he sees him, to which Blair blows him off and walks away with Louis. Dan arrives at the party and greets Jane, who is surprised to see him but plays it cool. Serena shows up and Jane asks her if she already told Dan about Sorkin, and she replies that she has not. Dan is excited and leaves to call his agent. Jane tells Serena she knows what she is trying to do and won't be able to guilt trip her into changing the main character that she proposed. Serena says she just wants her to get to know the real Dan, and Jane replies that Zuckerberg is the better story and better movie. She then takes Serena off the project because she's too close to it. Jessica is trying to flirt with Nate, but Charlie quickly ends it by pulling the bow on Jessica's dress causing it to slip way down and she runs off to fix the wardrobe malfunction, disqualifying her. Blair witnesses the scene and is impressed. Meanwhile, Serena is at the bar alone where she is approached by Diana. Serena explains to Diana about the book option problem and Dan, and Diana tells Serena she can make her problem go away. She and Jane have a mysterious history that Jane does not always like to be reminded of, and Diana goes off to talk to her and solve Serena's problem. Penelope tells Charlie that anyone can see Nate has a huge crush on her, and Charlie sets up Penelope by telling her Nate said she was the hottest girl at Constance and he wishes they had hooked up. Penelope goes up to Nate and tries to kiss him, but ends up in the arms of a busboy. Blair sees and dismisses her, leaving Charlie the only contestant. Dan catches up with Jane on her way out of the party, where she informs him that the movie is dead and if he wants to know why, to ask Serena. Diana calls for a toast to thank everyone for coming to the party. During the speech, Charlie kisses Nate and Diana sees. So does Blair, and she raises a glass to Charlie, insinuating that she won. Chuck comes forward and announces he has a story The Spectator can cover. He announces that his therapist, Dr. Barnes, used hypnosis to make him perform unspeakable acts. She comes forward and says it is not true and that Chuck is in a very vulnerable state. He replies that it's because he found out she was taking money to reveal confidential information. Blair steps in and demands to know why he is doing this, and Chuck says that if she really wants to know, she should ask Louis; who by now is starting to look guilty.
Blair and Louis step outside of the party and she asks him why he felt the need to pay Chuck's therapist for information. He tells Blair that he found the paternity test she had done. Blair explains that she had the test done so they could both have peace at mind, but Louis thinks the test was proof she still felt she had a choice to make between him and Chuck, and he needed her to see that Chuck will always be the wrong choice. Blair reassures him that her and Chuck will never be able to work, as he destroys everything in his life and it's scaring her that he is turning into Chuck. At the same time, Dan confronts Serena about killing his movie. She explains that she did it for him, but Dan doesn't believe it. He thinks that she did it just because she hates how she was portrayed in the book so much that she killed it to avoid being judged by millions of people. She tells Dan that Jane was going to completely destroy Inside and she's going to get fired for stopping the movie, and that it had nothing to do with her image. Nate and Charlie are talking and Diana comes up and congratulates Charlie for kissing Nate and winning Blair's contest. She also tells Charlie that Nate was using her to make her jealous and effectively ruins their relationship since both were using each other. Chuck confronts Dr. Barnes, who informs him she is shutting down her practice. She reveals to Chuck that Louis was paying her to turn him back into the monster he was, since he is so threatened by Chuck he needed to remind Blair why she chose him. She then returns the ring to Chuck and leaves. Diana approaches Serena one last time to ask her to come work for her. Serena is skeptical at first, but Diana explains that her ultimate goal is to take down Gossip Girl. Serena, a long time hater of GG, begins to come around when she hears that. She tells Diana that she would consider it, as long as she could do it her way. Diana agrees and the two make a plan to meet and talk some more. Nate confronts Diana and tells her that she's either in it for the world to see, or he's out of the relationship.
Chuck goes to see Blair at her penthouse, apology in hand. He tells her that he's sorry for losing his temper the night Louis proposed, for not waiting longer at the Empire State Building, for treating her like property, for not telling her he loved her sooner, and that he gave up on them when she never did. She thanks Chuck and says she hopes never giving up on people will not be her downfall. Chuck says that's why she's going to be an amazing mother, and Blair says that her being there will never change. Chuck replies that it's okay if it has to and he's going to take care of himself from now on before leaving.
Dan goes home to the loft and finds Rufus there. He tells Dan he got an advance copy of next week's bestseller list and that Inside dropped off the list. Rufus relays that a movie deal announcement will have the books flying off the shelves again, but Dan sadly replies that the movie is dead and for now, so is his career.
After the party at The Spectator, Diana calls Charlie to her office and tells her that she's becoming more trouble than she's worth. She shows Charlie a newly published story announcing that she and Nate are a couple. She once again threatens Charlie with exposing her secret, that she is an imposter, if she causes any more problems.
In the final montage, Serena is beginning her new blog for The Spectator, S by S, Blair talks to Louis and says she thinks a little space would be good for them, and Chuck leaves the engagement ring on the steps of Harry Winston's shop.
- Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
- Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
- Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey
- Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald
- Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass
- Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodson (Credit only, as she does not appear in the episode)
- Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey
- Kaylee DeFer as Ivy Dickens
- Zuzanna Szadkowski as Dorota Kishlovsky
- Amanda Setton as Penelope Shafai
- Nan Zhang as Kati Farkas
- Hugo Becker as Louis Grimaldi
- Elizabeth Hurley as Diana Payne
- Alice Callahan as Jessica Leitenberg
- Michael Michele as Jane Bettinger
- K.K. Moggie as Eliza Barnes
- Elizabeth Quinn Brown as Herself
- Carson Griffith as Herself
- Go Outside by The Cults
- True Love by Friendly Fires
- Violet Eyes by My Gold Mask
- On We Go by The Uglysuit
- Titanium by David Guetta feat. Sia
- Video Games by Lana Del Rey
Diana (referring to herself): Nate, can I add one more thing to your to do list?
Charlie: I knew I shouldn't have worn heels today.
Chuck (on what his dream could be about): My father's tragic death, my mother's secret life, or perhaps, my chronic oral fixation
Blair (on her tryouts to Louis): Don't worry, my love, no one will get hurt. Not badly.
Blair: Even Pippa knew when to pipe down.
Dr. Eliza Barnes (to Chuck): You have to face that you didn't let Blair go. You lost her to someone else.
Blair (to Kati after she falls): You sicken me.
Jane (to Dan): Now your character will talk even faster than you do.
Penelope (to Charlie): Hello, Nate doesn't have a type. He's like Derek Jeter.
Serena (on Gossip Girl): The city is addicted to her.
Chuck: I'm sorry for losing my temper the night you told me Louis proposed to you. I'm sorry for not waiting longer at the Empire State Building. I'm sorry for treating you like property. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I loved you when I knew I did. But most of all, I'm sorry that I gave up on us when you never did.
Blair: Thank you. I hope never giving up on people isn't gonna be my downfall.
Chuck: It's why you're going to be an amazing mother. You're always there for the people you love even when they don't deserve it.
Blair: You know that's never gonna change.
Chuck: It's okay if it has to. Starting tonight, I'm going to take care of myself.
Gossip Girl: They say every road comes to an end, but sometimes the end feels just like the beginning.
- The episode title is based off the movie I Am Number Four.
- Blair's bridesmaid pros for Penelope are that she is a "huge bitch, Hamilton House, party planning" while her cons are that she is a "huge bitch, fake n' bake, social climber. Her pros for Nelly include "genius, esperanto, and sorbonne" and her cons are "grade grubber, allergic to contacts, and loves YA fiction". Isabel's pros are "long legs, scratch golfer, and loves to match" and her cons are "too pretty, reads McSweeney's, and Aries".
- eBay - Diana mentions the auction website when Nate brings up the possibility of using a messenger system.
- Pippa Middleton - Blair references Duchess Kate Middleton's sister, Pippa Middleton, who served in Prince William and Kate's royal wedding.
- Yale University - Blair asks where former minion Nelly Yuki is, and Penelope responds that she is at Yale.
- Harry Winston Jewelers - The famous jewelry shop where Chuck purchased Blair's engagement ring. The name is shown on the ring box, and on the sign outside the shop where Chuck returns the ring.
- Warner Bros Entertainment - Jane brings along a contact from Warner's to talk about production of Dan's book to movie.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne - Jane mentions that the main character from Inside, Dylan Hunter, quotes Hawthorne's writing.
- Federico Fellini - His movies are also mentioned as an interest of Dylan Hunter.
- Glee - Jane talks of how she wants to "glee" the movie up, referencing the TV show which centers around music.
- Newsies - Dan references the musical drama film as what Jane and Natalie are trying to turn Inside into
- Keith Gessen - Diana's date to The Spectator party, although he is never seen on camera.
- Avika Goldsman - Serena mentions that she could get a good film writer like him to take over the writing of the Inside script.
- The Oscar's - Serena says that Jane works with Oscar award winning people all the time.
- Aaron Sorkin - Jane tells Serena that Sorkin is on the table to take over the writing of Inside.
- Mark Zuckerberg - Jane says she is planning to "Zuckerberg" Inside by making it into the next social network.
- Hellman-Chang - Jessica asks if a table at The Spectator is from the luxury furniture brand.
- Derek Jeter - Penelope compares Nate and his lack of type of women to the baseball player.
- Clark Rockefeller - Diana compares Ivy faking Charlie's identity to the German imposter.
Food & Drink
- Breakfast - Louis is seen drinking coffee, along with orange juice, water, and croissants and berries.
- Champagne - Blair has the girls run with champagne in heels and try not to spill and people are later shown drinking it at The Spectator party.