Damien Darko is the 13th episode of the fourth season and the 78th overall.
Brrr, Upper East Siders. It's cold outside and as February approaches we need to find way to fight frostbite. Some keep warm the old fashioned way, some seek the comfort of loved ones, and some try to keep away the gloom by painting things bright.
Blair is thrilled to get an internship at W Magazine, but her excitement fades when she discovers that Dan, along with four students, will also be interning there. Meanwhile, Chuck may have finally met his match with Russell Thorpe, and his daughter Raina, when they announce that they are planning to take over Bass Industries. Serena tries a reconciliation with Ben after his release from prison, and Eric engages in suspicious behavior with Damien. Also, Nate receives alarming news about his father's business prospects when he learns that the Captain and Russell are working together for some secret purpose.
The episode begins with Chuck and Raina in bed together, Eric texting Serena hoping they can meet for lunch, and Blair and Serena getting dressed for the day. Serena is off to have breakfast with Ben and Blair is headed to start her internship. Outside, Dan is walking to his internship which is also starting that day. He thanks Lily for getting him the position, and she invites him breakfast but he declines. At the VDW's, Lily is sad that her kids are still icing her out despite her getting Ben on parole. Meanwhile, Serena and Ben have breakfast. He tells her that he's moving to Ithaca to help a friend with his farm and that he's leaving the next day. She pretends to be okay with it, and they say goodbye. On the way out, he sees a "Help Wanted" sign on the window of the diner and Serena calls Rufus to see if he still has a community garden plot. Elsewhere outside, Dan and Blair are making plans about movies and exhibits to see together. Neither share where their internships are, but agree to meet on Sunday to hang out. Also on the street, Serena runs into Damien. He tries to apologize for selling the drugs to Juliet, but she doesn't want to hear it.
Blair begins her internship at W Magazine and meets her boss, Epperly Lawrence. However, Blair is disappointed when she learns that she will be interning with girls from Princeton, Yale, Penn, and Parsons. However, her mood becomes even worse when she discovers that Dan is also an intern at the magazine. At the VDW's, Jonathan arrives to bring Eric some of his books he forgot at school. Lily mentions that Eric has been spending a lot of time with Elliot, but Jonathan informs Lily that Elliot broke up with Eric a long time ago. Lily is confused, since she was under the impression Eric stayed with him the night before and it's revealed that Eric has been staying with Damien. Meanwhile, Serena goes to visit Ben at the halfway house and is shocked at how bad the area and house is. At W, Blair tries to manipulate Dan into quitting but gets Epperly's attention instead. To cover up her threats, she tells her that Dan was talking about how much he'd rather work for The New Yorker. Epperly isn't offended, and offers to let him write a special piece for the magazine and introduce him to some people. At the VDW's, Eric arrives home to find Jonathan and Lily waiting for him. She confronts him about lying, but Jonathan asks to speak to Eric alone. She agrees and he asks what's going on. Eric admits he's been having a rough few weeks and that he misses him, and Jonathan offers to accompany him to the W Party that evening. At W, Blair tries hard to sabotage Dan but her efforts seemingly fail every time. At The Empire, Howard arrives and tells Nate that he got a job. Nate is happy for him until he learns that the job is with Russell. Chuck also arrives home and Nate informs him about Howard's new job. Back at W, Blair tells Dan that she's mad that he ruined her internship. They overhear about a party disaster, and make a bet to each bring a new author to the party and whoever brings the best one gets to stay at the magazine and the other will resign. They resolve not to sabotage the other and shake hands.
At the VDW's, Serena arrives to take Eric to lunch, but also has an envelope for Lily that was down with Vanya. She asks her to open the envelope, and Rufus agrees that she should do it. Serena takes it back and opens it for her; finding thirty thousand dollars in cash and a note to stay away from her family. She sees that it was for Ben and that he wrote back saying that he'll stay away for free. Eric comes out of his room and isn't surprised at Lily paying someone off. All three leave the apartment and Lily alone. On his way out, Eric texts someone asking if they can meet. At W, Blair and Dan have gotten confirmations from both authors that they'll be coming. Meanwhile, Chuck meets with Raina at her hotel and asks her to have Howard fired. She refuses, and claims that she didn't know his relation to Nate or the Captain. He tries to seduce her, but she again refuses him. Outside of W, Blair is working and on the phone with Serena. She complains about Dan and Serena tells her about Lily and Ben. After they hang up, Dan comes back to the office and brings Blair lunch. When he goes back inside, she takes out the list of party guests but decides against sabotaging Dan and throws it away. At a bar, Ben is trying to complete a job application and is surprised when Damien shows up. Ben tells him he knows Damien was the witness that sealed his fate, but Damien isn't fazed. Eric arrives then, and he leaves Ben alone. After he's gone, Ben calls Serena. Back at W, Epperly tells Dan that she noticed Blair is kind of competitive. After she leaves, he calls Blair's author and tells her there was a terrible mixup.
At the W Party, Eric is surprised to see Rufus at the party alone. He admits that he needed some air and that's the only reason he's there. Eric begins blowing off Jonathan, and asks Damien for a second alone to talk. Chuck arrives at the party and is surprised to see Blair working the door. Meanwhile, Serena meets up with Ben at the party. He informs her that he saw Eric and Damien, but Serena says there has to be an explanation since he hates Damien and drugs. She asks Jonathan if he's seen Eric, and he says that he hasn't. She asks about Elliot, and Jonathan is surprised she didn't know they broke up either. Sadly, he says that he was wrong in thinking Eric changed and leaves the party. Elsewhere, Blair and Dan meet and discuss why neither of their authors are there yet. Dan assumes she sabotaged him but eats his words when Jeremiah arrives. Epperly introduces herself to him, and walks away with him and Dan. Blair realizes Dan sabotaged her. Meanwhile, Chuck meets with Raina at the party. He tells her that he can't trust her yet because his father's legacy is on the line, but she is no longer interested in him in any way. Away from the party, Ben and Serena look for Eric and they find him buying drugs from Damien. They cover it up by pretending to be dating. Upstairs, Blair confronts Dan about sabotaging her. She threatens to tell Epperly, but he begs her not to. They engage in a physical altercation that only ends with them both on the floor being seen by Stefano, the editor, and Epperly, who fires them both.
At The Empire, Howard asks Nate if he had Chuck get him fired. Howard reaffirms that he sees Chuck as family and would never hurt him, but he heard he's sleeping with Raina. Nate tells him that that's his decision but Howard needs the second chance to start over. Howard is still angry that he had him fired, and leaves the apartment. Back at W, Blair and Dan are packing their desks. Blair explains that Eleanor didn't get her the job, and that she worked hard to get in. Dan realizes that she really did want the internship and that it isn't as big deal to him, and sadly watches as she walks out the door. Back at the party, Serena tries to tell Eric that he shouldn't be with Damien. Ben tries to help and gives Eric advice on pretending to be someone he's not by mixing up with the wrong people. Eric admits that he's been lonely and Damien is a distraction from the craziness of their lives recently, but promises not to see him again. Rufus approaches and asks for a moment with Serena alone. He reminds her that Ben is partially responsible for what happened, but she says he only did that as revenge. She excuses herself to find Ben. Back at the office, Dan calls Epperly and says to her that he needs to confess something. Back at the party, Rufus asks Eric if he's doing drugs. Eric admits that he was, but isn't anymore and now only hangs with Damien because he was the only one who would listen to him. Elsewhere, Serena catches Ben and tells him she wants to be his friend. He flatly tells her that he knows she's interested him and that he doesn't reciprocate her feelings and never has.
The next day, Blair and Serena eat breakfast in Blair's bed and discuss the night before. In the middle of their conversation, Epperly calls Blair and asks why she isn't at work. Blair reminds her that she was fired, but Epperly explains that Dan took credit for inviting Jeremiah and admitted to the whole debacle being his fault. Blair agrees to come in and goes to get dressed. Outside, Rufus meets with Ben and he offers to let him move into the loft with Dan. Ben asks for some time to think about it, but thanks him anyway. At The Empire, Nate calls Howard's hotel and discovers he is already checked out and gone. At Russell's office, he agrees to hire Howard back. He promises there are no conflicts with Chuck or Nate and anything he might need, he can provide. Meanwhile, Chuck goes to see Raina. She informs him that Russell will do anything to acquire Bass Industries, but Chuck tells her he doesn't care and wants to continue seeing her. She agrees to give him another chance, and they kiss. At W, Blair considers calling Dan but doesn't. Instead, she tells Epperly that Dan was never really her friend. At the Waldorf's, Serena gets a call from Rufus, who tells her he offered the loft like she suggested. At the same bar from before, Ben pins Damien to a wall and threatens to tell his father about his drug dealing if he doesn't stay way from the VDW's. Damien realizes Ben actually likes her, but Ben doesn't confirm or deny. He walks away, and Damien calls Eric to see if he can hang out as friends. Eric agrees.
- Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
- Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
- Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey
- Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald
- Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass
- Jessica Szohr as Vanessa Abrams (Credit only, as she does not appear in the episode)
- Taylor Momsen as Jenny Humphrey (Credit only, as she does not appear in the episode)
- Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen
- Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey
- Connor Paolo as Eric van der Woodsen
- Kevin Zegers as Damien Dalgaard
- Michael Boatman as Russell Thorpe
- Tika Sumpter as Raina Thorpe
- David Call as Ben Donovan
- Matt Doyle as Jonathan Whitney
- Caitlin FitzGerald as Epperly
- Sam Robards as Howard 'The Captain' Archibald
- Jay McInerney as Jeremiah Harris
- Stefano Tonchi as Himself
- Lions In Cages by Wolf Gang
- Beat Of My Own Song by Meme
- Fire In Your New Shoes by Kaskade (feat. Dragonette)
- Monokini by Nous Non Plus
- Changes by Stars
- Let Go by Everest
Serena (to Blair): You realize most offices aren't open this early, unless you're interning at a doughnut shop..?
Lily: Everything I ever do or have ever done, has been for my children. And someday they'll realize that.
Blair: Fashion is the most powerful art there is. It's movement, design, and architecture all in one. It shows the world who we are and who we want to be!
Blair: But I'm the best of the best. I'm Blair Waldorf.
Eric (to Jonathan): Oh, now you care? Cause you didn't when you dumped me.
Dan (to Blair when she tries to sabotage him): I didn't date Serena van der Woodsen for two years to not come away knowing those are Marc Jacobs. And they're mustard.
Blair (while trying to distract Dan): Oh look! There's Georgina's baby!
Eric: Mom paid someone off again. We should make this a drinking game.
Damien (to Ben): You say potato, judge says pedophile. *Upon seeing Eric* Well, it's been great catching up, Mr. D, but my friend just arrived. I'd introduce you but you may or may not have statutorily raped his sister. Might be a tad awkward.
Blair: OMG, I was just poleaxed by a poor person.
Blair (to Dan): Hillary Clinton is one of my role models. I do not break treaties, you ass!
Howard (to Nate): I think I'd rather live in a halfway house than with someone who only halfway trusts me.
Blair (to Serena): You know what I just realized? When you really want something, you don't stop for anyone or anything until you get it.
- The episode title is based off the movie Donnie Darko.