Blair Waldorf Must Pie is the 9th episode of the first season and the 9th overall.
As per Gossip Girl's Thanksgiving tradition, I'm trading my laptop for stovetop. And for the next sixteen hours, the only thing I'm dishing is seconds. When the cat's away, the mice will play. Have fun, little rodents.
When Dan hears that Serena and her family are spending Thanksgiving alone at The Palace, he naively invites them to spend the holiday with his family, creating an uncomfortable situation for Rufus and Lily whose children are unaware of their complicated romantic history. Meanwhile, Blair's emotions spiral out of control when she learns that her father isn't coming home for Thanksgiving. Nate spends the holiday with his mom and dad, but their awkward dinner quickly goes from bad to worse.
In a flashback to the Thanksgiving the year before, Blair escorts a drunk Serena out of a bar. She notices that Serena's purse is gone and goes back inside to retrieve it. Meanwhile, Dan comes out of a bakery after picking up pie and sees Serena wandering into the street, narrowly missing several oncoming cars. He hurries into the road and helps her to the sidewalk but drops his pie, which gets run over. However, she hails a cab for herself and Dan introduces himself. He mentions that they met the year before but before she can respond, Blair comes out and chastises Dan for trying to take advantage of Serena on the holidays. They get into the cab and drive away.
In present day, Serena calls Dan on her way over to the Waldorf's. She explains that Blair's dad, Harold, is coming home for the first time since he left and she's very excited. They also discuss how Alison is there for the holiday too, and then make plans to talk later. At the loft, Dan comes out of his room to find everyone else preparing food for dinner. They encourage him to be positive, which he agrees to try and do. At the Waldorf's, Blair searches for Harold's Famous Pumpkin Pie recipe, which she hopes to have done before he arrives. Serena mentions that she seems to be in a good mood, maybe because she and Nate got back together. Blair says no and Serena then asks if Blair knows what Chuck is doing for the holiday. Blair asks why she would ask her that, and Serena admits that she saw them at her party. She admits she doesn't know what she was thinking to have slept with him twice. Shocked, Serena makes a noise of anguish and says she shouldn't have slept with Chuck for revenge. They argue about who slept with who and why until Eleanor enters the kitchen. She asks Serena when Lily is arriving but both girls explain that the VDW's aren't coming because Blair uninvited them. Afterwards, Serena, Lily, and Eric head to Chinatown to find something to make for dinner. While they search, Serena gets a call from Dan. She explains to him about how she got into a fight with Blair and her family now has nothing to do for the holiday. Dan thinks for a moment and invites them to come to the loft for dinner. She hangs up and excitedly tells Eric and Lily about the invitation. Eric immediately agrees to go but Lily feigns excitement over the offer.
In another flashback, Blair helps Harold make dinner while Serena sits in the kitchen. Eleanor brings in the empty canapé tray but Blair says she isn't hungry because she had lots of them when Harold made them earlier. Eleanor whispers to Harold whether he thinks that's wise, but he reminds her that Blair has been fine for two months now. He assures her that it will be okay and Eleanor asks Dorota to set another place at the table for a male model named Roman. She tells Harold not to do anything with this one and walks out of the room. Meanwhile, Nate arrives in the kitchen and greets everyone. Blair asks Nate to take Serena upstairs and put her in the bath to sober her up while she helps Harold with the pie. He agrees and they head upstairs while Blair happily helps her dad.
Blair emerges from upstairs to find caterers setting up dinner in the foyer. She asks Eleanor what's going on and then wonders where Harold is. Eleanor explains that he isn't coming because he has too much work in Paris, meaning either his job or Roman. She tells Blair to put on a different dress and goes back to directing the caterers. At The Palace, Eric and Serena ask Lily if she's sure she wants them to go if she's sick. She encourages them to go until a knock comes at the door. Serena opens it to find a room service delivery on the other side and Lily admits that she lied about being sick. Dan then enters the suite and they explain what Lily did. He tells her that she doesn't have a choice and she replies that she will get dressed if he stops talking. When she's out of earshot, she calls Rufus and leaves him a message saying that her kids don't know about their history, and she would like to keep it that way. She adds that she looks forward to seeing him, then hangs up. At the Waldorf's, Dorota helps Blair get dressed while she vents about Harold not telling her that he cancelled. Dorota advises her to call him herself and learn the real story about what happened. At the Archibald's, Nate, Anne, and Howard sit down to dinner. Anne makes constant remarks on how Howard's arrest has begun affecting her place in high society, such as her not being asked back or asked to step down from several committees. Nate tells her to stop but Howard says he doesn't need Nate to fight his fight for him. Nate gets up and when Anne ask where he's going, he answers anywhere but there. At the loft, Jenny, Rufus, and Alison are putting dinner on the table when Dan arrives with the VDW's. Dan introduces Alison, Serena, and Eric before getting to Lily, who awkwardly says happy Thanksgiving.
Dan arrives home and explains how the pie he bought was run over when he saved Serena. Alison mentions that Rufus was also into blondes, but dangerous and troubled ones. Dan wonders how she was dangerous, but Alison alludes to her statement not being about herself.
The adults play it off and act like they don't know each other. Rufus delegates chores to Serena, Dan, Eric, and Jenny before going to the kitchen with Lily and Alison. Lily says she didn't know Alison was back, and Alison asks why she would know. She explains that Dan didn't mention it and that she tried to call beforehand. Rufus says he didn't hear the phone and Alison agrees to let it go to celebrate Thanksgiving. Lily asks if they wouldn't mind keeping their past on the down low as Dan calls them to the table. At the Waldorf's, Eleanor whispers to Blair that she hasn't touched her food. She asks what's wrong and Blair demands to know if she called Harold and lied that she didn't want to see him because she was so angry at him for leaving. Eleanor denies it at first, but then stops when Blair reveals that she knows she did. Eleanor tells her that if she wants to discuss it further, they can after their guests have left; and Blair either has to eat or leave the table. Blair chooses to leave but as she gets up, Eleanor offers her dessert. Realizing Harold's pie that she made is gone, she asks where it is. Eleanor answers that the caterer brought so many dessert options that she gave the pie to the doorman. Blair selects an apple pie and goes off the kitchen, where she slams the plate on the table. Dorota and the rest of the catering tram excuse themselves to leave her alone. She grabs a fork and begins to eat the pie, as she flashes back to different episodes of binging and purging. When she's done eating the whole thing, she glances at her reflection and goes upstairs. Back at the loft, Dan asks Lily what Thanksgiving's were like when she was growing up. As Lily is explaining how she was raised in Montecito, California on a ranch, Serena gets a call from Blair. Worried about her, she tells everyone she has to go immediately and leaves the loft; telling Lily and Eric to stay. Once she's gone, Jenny asks if she had any horses. Lily says yes, that she had one named Rosewood that she really loved. Dan and Jenny remember that Rufus had a song called Rosewood, and it was about a perfume that Alison wore that was rose and sandalwood. Alison tearfully says that she's a fool and Lily says she never told Rufus about her horse so it's just a coincidence. Dan asks why they're talking like they know each other, and Rufus admits that they did know each other a long time ago. Jenny asks how and from the looks exchanged and silence, it becomes clear how. Alison excuses herself for some air and Dan follows. Jenny and Eric also excuse themselves, leaving Rufus and Lily alone.
In Blair's bathroom, Nate runs the bath for Serena. However, she gets ahold of the nozzle and begins spraying him with water. They get into a water fight, which comes to a pause when Blair comes in and demands to know what they're doing. They spray her with the water and they all laugh together as they play.
Elsewhere outside, Nate sits alone and debates whether to call Serena or Blair; but chooses not to dial either. At the Waldorf's, Serena finds Blair on the floor of her bathroom, tearstained and sad after purging. Blair admits that she didn't mean for it to happen and Serena says she didn't see Harold downstairs. She asks if she wants to get out of the apartment, which Blair agrees to. Meanwhile, Dan and Alison take a walk. She explains her feud with Lily and that she was always jealous because she knows Lily was Rufus' first great love. Back at the loft, Lily accuses Rufus of letting her walk into the situation and deserved to find out about Alison's homecoming in a better way. He says he doesn't know what he owes her because they never defined what they mean to each other. She says now is the right time too and he says that he knows what the time together recently means, but he shouldn't say it. He continues that she is one of his oldest friends and she says that's not how it felt when he kissed her at Eleanor's party. Alison walks in at that moment and asks Dan to excuse them. At the Archibald's, Nate arrives home to talk to Howard. He goes down to his study to see if he's there but finds him lying unconscious on the ground. He yells at Anne to call 911 right away.
Blair, Serena, and Nate change into dry clothes and return to the party downstairs. In the background, Howard argues on the phone with someone; which Nate overhears. He asks Anne who he's talking to and Anne explains that something is going on with his latest dead. After hanging up, Howard comes over and says he needs to go to the office for awhile. Anne tells him no, but he explains that if he partner closes the deal without him, he won't receive the commission. However, Anne still tells him that he shouldn't leave and offers to write a check to compensate for the missed commission. Angry, Howard replies that he lost his appetite and walks away.
At the hospital, Nate and Anne wait for news on Howard. Anne reasons that Howard probably took some Vikadin to help with a headache and drank some whiskey, forgetting he shouldn't. Nate doesn't buy this and reminds her that the doctor was clear that he overdosed on the pain pills. Anne orders him not to blame her for anything since all she's done is try to make his life easier. She adds that her father, William van der Bilt, set Howard up with his own firm, bought their house, their Hamptons house, and their boat; so Howard has never actually had to earn a dime to be as wealthy as he is. She finishes that all he had to do was put on a suit, go to work, and not get arrested but he couldn't even manage to do that. Nate says that they can't keep ignoring the problem or else they'll lose him for good. At that moment, a nurse enters the waiting room and tells Anne that Howard is awake and asking for her. Anne stands to go, but Nate tells her that he's going instead. At the loft, Rufus, Lily, and Alison discuss the kiss and Alison's reaction to it. While they argue, Serena reenters the loft with Blair. Meanwhile in Dan's room, Jenny, Dan, and Eric discuss whether or not they could be related. Serena and Blair go into the room and they all fill them in on what went down when Serena left. Serena says that it's too much to handle on an empty stomach and they decide to sneak out of the apartment via the fire escape. In the living area, Alison says that emotional affairs are just as bad as physical ones. She tells Rufus that if Lily is in his life, they won't be able to fix their marriage. She asks him to choose between her and Lily, but is met with silence. Meanwhile, Blair, Serena, Eric, Dan, and Jenny go to a diner. As they're eating and talking, Lily comes in. Eric asks if she's okay and Serena asks if she wants to go home. She says not yet, and orders some french fries. Blair, Dan, and Jenny take the opportunity to leave them alone and take off. They share a cab, which drops Dan and Jenny off back in Brooklyn first. Once they get out of the car, they meet with Rufus and Alison; who ask if they want to play some touch football. As they walk to the park, Dan tells Rufus that his not telling him about Lily was uncool. Rufus admits he's right and that he should have. He asks how he left it with Lily, and Rufus answers that she won't be coming back anytime soon, as he and Alison need to figure their relationship out without her around. At the Waldorf's, Blair finds Eleanor, who apologizes for what she did. She confesses that Harold sent her divorce papers and she just couldn't handle seeing him at the holidays because she was so surprised at how the divorce is making her feel. At the hospital, Nate tells Howard that he knows the overdose wasn't an accident and that despite how he and Anne act, they do need him alive and there for them.
After dinner, Nate and Anne leave the Waldorf's. Harold gives them a plate with food for Howard and Nate kisses Blair goodnight. As they enter the elevator, Lily and Eric emerge. They greet each other and Lily asks Blair where Serena is. Blair directs her to a chair, where Serena is sleeping soundly. Lily says she must have had too much turkey, which Blair smiles at. They're able to wake her up and the VDW's leave. Afterwards, Harold and Eleanor bring out some tea and they sit with Blair, where they talk together happily. At the loft, everyone notices that Dan is distracted by something. Alison jokes that he's still thinking about his dream girl, and Jenny adds that if he keeps dreaming maybe someday she'll know his name. He says if she does, then he'll have something to be thankful for and they laugh.
At the diner, Lily, Eric, and Serena laugh together as they talk and eat. At the Waldorf's, Eleanor and Blair drink tea and eat cookies while they talk in the kitchen. In Brooklyn at a park, Dan, Jenny, Rufus, and Alison play football as the sun sets and end up in a family hug on the ground.
- Blake Lively as Serena van der Woodsen
- Leighton Meester as Blair Waldorf
- Penn Badgley as Dan Humphrey
- Chace Crawford as Nate Archibald
- Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass (Credit only, as he does not appear in the episode)
- Taylor Momsen as Jenny Humphrey
- Kelly Rutherford as Lily van der Woodsen
- Matthew Settle as Rufus Humphrey
- Margaret Colin as Eleanor Waldorf
- Connor Paolo as Eric van der Woodsen
- Zuzanna Szadkowski as Dorota Kishlovsky
- John Shea as Harold Waldorf
- Sam Robards as Howard 'The Captain' Archibald
- Francie Swift as Anne Archibald
- Susan Misner as Alison Humphrey
- Michelle Hurd as Laurel
- Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado & Timbaland
- Recurring by Bonobo
- Here It Goes Again by Ok Go
- Mandolin Concerto in C Major, RV 425: II. Largo by Lajos Mayer, Budapest Strings & Karoly Botvay
- Grand Opening by Will Dailey
- La Ritournelle by Sebastien Tellier
- Today by Stickboy (UK)
- Nolita Fairytale by Vanessa Carlton
Serena: Tell me you didn't sleep with Chuck for revenge
Blair: Well, it wasn''t because I like his natural musk.
Lily: I'm just trying to provide my family with a home cooked meal.
Eric: You don't know how to cook.
Dorota: Miss Blair, maybe you pick up phone and call your papa... maybe he tell you the real story.
Alison: A thing for blondes... you are your father's son.
Dan: Not just any blonde. Apparently I like the ones who get drunk on Thanksgiving and almost die.
Alison: Well, your dad liked them dangerous and troubled too, so.
Dan: You were dangerous?
Alison: Who said I was talking about me?
Blair: Did you call Daddy and say that I didn't want to see him this Thanksgiving?
Eleanor: Of course not. What a ridiculous accusation.
Blair: So you didn't tell him that I was so angry at him for leaving that I didn't even want to talk to him today? You had no right to uninvite him.
Eleanor: When are you going to get it though your head? He left us.
Blair: He didn't leave us, he left you.
Serena: Blair's not the boss of me!
Nate: Oh, are you new here? Because Blair's the boss of all of us.
Dan (to Alison): You actually threatened Lily van der Woodsen with physical violence? Mom, you are a badass.
Dan: Serena! ...and Blair.
Blair: Yes, it's me.
Serena: Explanation to follow but first, what's going on with our parents?
Jenny: Oh, uh, our dad dated your mom.
Dan: Yeah, we're not related though.
Eric: Ignore my roots.
Serena: Wait... wait, what?
Blair: You know what's really weird? There's a garage door in the middle of your room. Oh, is that Cedric?
Alison: An emotional affair is just as bad as a physical one!
Lily: Oh please, nobody is buying that. Emotional affairs are necessary to keep a marriage alive.
Alison: And how many times have you been divorced?
Rufus: Alison, this is not about Lily. This is about you and me.
Alison: Exactly. And if we're going to have any chance, then she can't be here.
Lily: What, for Thanksgiving? Or ever? Oh, you can't be serious.
Alison: I am. Look, I have made mistakes and I know that. But if she's in your life, you're never gonna get over her.
Alison: This is it, Rufus. Okay? If you want to make this work, then you have to make a choice.
Blair (to Serena): If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman who had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads.
Eleanor (on why she disinvited Harold): The real truth... divorce papers from your father and I'm supposed to sign them. I haven't yet.
Blair: Mom... he's living in Europe... with a man... You can't be all that surprised he wants a divorce.
Eleanor: I'm not. But what I am surprised about is how it makes me feel. He was my husband, after all. My Harold. For almost twenty years. I couldn't face him during the holidays. It was always our happiest time.
- The episode title is based off the movie John Tucker Must Die.
- This is the first episode where flashbacks play a major part in the story.
- This is the first onscreen appearance of Harold Waldorf, even though he's only shown in flashbacks.
- Chuck is noticeably absent, and this is the only Thanksgiving episode where he does not appear.